Never Underestimate the Penguins!
by Amy2421
Summary: Penelope was a erm...NORMAL girl. She is on the run from dangerous criminals, and finds herself in the world of POM! GONNA GET FUNNEH! Idea came from a friend of mine's dream, THANK YA KAT!
1. Chapter 1

A small house...in a busy street...

"Penelope! You need to pack! And hurry!" A man said.

"Dad? What do you mean?" 12 Year old Penelope said. Her green eyes showed worry behind her glasses.

"Honey, I'm with the FBI. Some very bad men are after us. I need to keep you safe. Go! Pack! Now!"

Penelope ran to her room.

She grabbed her important things, she did not have many things at all, so she could fit everything in a bagpack.

She had:

A teddy bear.

A pillow.

A blanket.

Some books.

A POM plushie.

Clothes.

A mirror.

Penelope ran back.

"What is this, dad?" She asked.

"I have been with the FBI without telling you. I have been hunting for dangerous criminals, and they know were we are! We moved here to hide, but they still found us!"

He ran his fingers through his daughters raven colored hair.

"Those extra shots you got? A buddy from the FBI gave them to you. They will allow you to do abnormal things."

"...Dad, were will I go?"

"I don't know..." The door got knocked on, hard.

"PREPARE TO DIE!" A voice shouted.

"Go down to the basement, in the fridge there is a hidden door! Go to my lab! Use the portal!" He said, and ran to hold the door. "GO!"

Penelope ran. She found the door, and opened it.

She gasped at the equipment.

She found a portal thing, and turned it on.

Penelope stared at the colorful portal.

Her hand hit the keypad, but she did not see. It spelled out "Penguins of Madagascar".

She heard guns, and jumped in.

The portal shut off, as soon as she jumped.

Penelope covered her face, and curled her thin body into a ball.

She got dizzy. Then passed out.

"This the one you found in the road, passed out?" A woman said.

Penelope stood up. She was in a small box. Her glasses were missing, so she could not see anything.

She felt the box moving.

Then be set down.

She felt for her backpack, and found nothing.

The penguins were just doing their 'cute' routine, when Alice plopped down a box. The zoo was closing, so the people left.

"Men!" Skipper said. They surrounded the box.

"It appears to be a box." Kowalski said.

"I KNOW that! Open it! Rico!" Skipper said.

Rico barfed up a hammer, and took it apart.

A very small young penguin squinted at them. She was shorter then any of them, and her feathers were a dark raven color. Her eyes were dark green. She was very thin, practically scrawny.

"O-okay...glasses...please be people..." She moaned.

Private saw a small backpack near the box, and some glasses on the top. He grabbed them and gave them to the penguin.

She put them on, and was silent for a moment, her eyes wide.

"Im dreaming. Im dreaming. Im dreaming." She said. She slapped herself. Then stared at her flippers, and shrieked. "No! No! This is NOT happening! No!"

Skipper watched the penguin hold her head.

Of course, he was suspicious.

"Men, question!" He commanded.

They did not move.

"Men!" He said.

"Skipper, I think maybe later, she's kinda having a 'moment'." Private said.

The penguin was just staring at her reflection.

"Thats the point!"

"Er, Skipper, I rather not induce 'women rage'." Kowalski said.

Rico nodded.

Skipper sighed, and just went into HQ.

The others followed.

The other penguin stayed.

Penelope was so weirded out. Something must have happened in the portal...

She looked through the now-small bag, and pulled out a bracelet, with a locket on it.

She opened it.

Tears came to her eyes. There was a picture. It was her when she was normal, with her dad.

Penelope put it on her flipper.

Words on it said it was waterproof, and almost indestructible.

Penelope gulped down sobs, and got her bear, which she held tight. Her mother and father had both given it to her, when her mom was alive.

Now...he was probably dead too...

Penelope let the sobs come this time.

Private came up, after a while, and found the new penguin sitting quietly, cradling a small bear, and leaning on the backpack.

"I'll have to convince Skipper somehow..." He murmured.

She noticed him. She straitened, and put the bear in the bag.

"Erm, Im Penelope." She said, shakily. "Im sorry about the weird display...I...ahem...come from a different dimension. This is a TV show."

"We are a WHAT?"

"A...TV show..."

"And how did you get here?" Private said.

She explained a whole story. Private realized why she was so freaked out.

"Hang on, let me get everyone." He stopped her.

She watched as he went down.

"Skipper! Everyone! You need to hear this!" He shouted. "Pen-The new girl!"

"This better be good, Private." Skipper growled.

They went up, and listened to Penelope's story.

Skipper growled. "You expect us to believe _that_?"

"Skipper, that is actually extremely possible." Kowalski said.

Penelope pulled off her bracelet. "Here." She showed a picture.

Everyone had to agree she was telling the truth.

"But no GIRLS in HQ!" Skipper said.

She gave him a dirty look, but a light bulb went off in her head.

"Skipper, I challenge you to a fight. If I win, I get to stay inside HQ. If not, I stay outside."

"Hah! Easy! Sure!"

They faced each other. Penelope felt a rush of fighting skills, and suddenly started to fight incredibly.

She had Skipper pinned in a few minutes. They were both panting.

The penguins gasped.

"Please, I have been fighting since I was old enough to. Skipper is not going soft." Penelope said.

"Arg, fine, You can stay!" Skipper said. He still did not trust her.

Suddenly, something swooped by, and grabbed Penelope's glasses.

"Ohh, pretty treasure for the king!" Julian said.

Penelope squinted, and felt around. "Can't...see..."

Skipper saw that he needed to help her now. "Men! Operation retrieve glasses!"

They slided away, were attacked by Mort, who lost his cupcake...?

Later, they returned.

Penelope put her glasses on thankfully. "Woah, thanks! I can't see a thing without them!"

That night...

Penelope walked out of HQ, and stared at the water.

Tears fell.

"Dad...Mom..." She whispered.

Suddenly, a potato fell from the sky and exploded, but she did not see. (Man, Im random today!)

Skipper had noticed her get up, but he saw she was not doing anything bad.

She wiped her tears, and headed back down.

**OHHHHH EPIC. Just wait, the funny will begin in next chappy!**


	2. Penelope and toothpaste don't mix

Penelope rubbed her eyes.

She slipped on her glasses, and pushed herself up. HQ was empty.

Heh. Fine by her.

She decided to read a bit, then she went up.

The penguins were being cute.

And cuddly.

Bleh.

She face-flippered. (Like face palm!)

"Psst! Be cute!" Private whispered.

She crossed her flippers.

"Hey! A new one!" Someone said. They surrounded her.

"Its a girl!" Another said.

She sighed, and swam for a bit.

The crowd finally left.

"I hate being the center of attention." Penelope muttered.

"How did you DO that?" Skipper said.

"People like new things." She shrugged.

Suddenly, a group of kids came.

"Okay, these are the penguins. The small one is brand new, and female." Alice said, tiredly.

"Aww, they can have babies!" A kid said.

Penelope turned green.

She shook her head out. "I'm not even a teenager!" She said. "And…OH DEAR LORDY." She barfed in a bucket. "And no, I cannot be like Rico!" She snapped at Skipper.

Finally, the Zoo closed.

Penelope muttered to herself while drawing with chalk on the ground.

"The machine had a 90-caliber engine…and a gigameter ray…I'll need those…and a yo-yo, so I can think, those things are cool…a giant plug and-"

"What are you going?" She heard a familiar English accent say.

"Mmm?" She looked up at Private. "Finding out how to go home." The raven colored penguin looked down, and threw down her chalk. "Its hopeless! Even I get back, how can I help my dad?"

"I'll bet it will be alright!" Private said cheerfully.

"Alright? ALRIGHT? My dad may be DEAD, and I'm just sitting around like a dead monkey-"

"Hey!" The monkeys shouted.

"SHUT UP! Like a dead elephant-"

"HEY!" Burt shouted. (I think that's his name…if not….DERP.)

"SHUT UP! Like I'm DEAD! I have to do something!" Penelope paced back and forth.

POMPOMPOMPOMPOMPOMPOM

In the real world….

"You won't find her." Penelope's father said.

"Oh, is that right?" One of the bad guys said.

"Yo, Rip, look at this." The other guy said.

He pointed at the machine.

The words PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR blinked on a screen.

"Penelope…" Her father said.

"Looks like we will find her, Agent." Rip said. "Turn on that doohickey, Spike."

Spike did.

They entered.

Dramatic music.

POMPOMPOMPOMPOM

"Everyone, this is our new….roommate." Skipper growled, in front of the other animals in the zoo gift shop.

"I'm Penelope…" She sighed.

"Ohh, pretty penguin." Julian said. "Hey, lady-"

Penelope threw a well aimed mort doll at his head.

"Ow!"

"I just want to get home." Penelope said, and left quickly.

She walked one in the moonlight, cursing lots of things that made no sense. She left the zoo, and found a pond. She looked at her reflection.

"Curse that stupid lime toothpaste that I'm allergic to…curse donkeys….and gum that's too sweet…curse smelly fish…CURSE THAT STUPID TELEPORTER! I WANNA GO HOME!"

"So, you want to go home?" A high-pitched squeaky voice said. Penelope looked up, surprised.

"W-who said that? My guardian angel?"

"No, this is…a fairy…." The voice said again.

Penelope rubbed her temple.

"Fairies…are real? Wow…" She said. "C-can you get me home, and help me save Daddy?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

"How do I know you aren't gonna hurt me, like a child killer or something?"

"Why would a FAIRY do that?"

"You don't sound like a fairy."

"Okay, you got me."

Penelope stared as a lobster crawled out of the water.

"You idiot, to the left!" The voice said. It was a radio the lobster was holding.

"W-what are you?" Penelope said.

"A lobster."

"Your voice is on a radio."

"What? I told the lobster to-Oh, forget it. I can get you home."

"You can?" Penelope said.

She inched closer, adjusting her glasses.

"How?"

"Just go to the pipe over there….GO TO THE PIPE YOU IDIOTIC CRAB."

Penelope followed the lobster to a large pipe.

"It has a teleporting thingy in it?"

"Yeah, sure, just get in."

"Um…" Penelope looked at it.

"WAIT!" She heard someone shout.

"Skipper, what-" Penelope started.

"Just push her in!" The voice said, and the lobster shoved her in the pipe.

Everything was black. Penelope felt herself fall…into a warm liquid….so…warm…so…sleepy….

She drifted off.

The Penguins stared in horror as she was pushed in.

Private grabbed the lobster.

"Hello, PENG-U-INS." Blowhole's voice came through a radio.

"Blowhole!" Skipper said.

"Where's Penelope?" Private said.

"At my base. I have a new plan. And, if you try to stop me…well…you get the idea."

"Lets go stop him." Skipper said.

"NO!" Private said. "He's gonna hurt her!"

"What can we do?" Skipper said. "Options!"

"Er….build a underground shelter and live there, hoping to survive?"

"Stupid!" Skipper kicked the lobster and radio to kingdom come.

POMPOMPOMPOM

Penelope rubbed her head, and cleaned her glasses.

She knew this. HOW COULD SHE BE SO STUPID? BLOWHOLE!

She was caught by a dolphin.

This is why Penelope did not like dolphins.

She took a look around the cage she was in. "Hmm….Nothing….AHA!" She unscrewed a bolt, and the cage fell apart.

"Hehe…"

She crawled out of the debris, and when into SPY MODE.

She slunk around, trying to find a way out.

"Um…hey, whats this…" She pressed a green button.

A lobster army came in.

"And this…" She pressed a blue.

A giant Hammer smacked them all.

Penelope giggled.

She pressed green, and more lobsters. Blue. Smash. Green. Lobsters. Blue. Smash.

She did that for a while.

Penelope giggled, staring at the pile of lobsters.

"Okay, lobster-WOAH." She heard Blowhole behind them.

She burst out laughing and hit the floor with her flipper.

"AHHAHA! I OWNED IT!" She said, tears streaming down her face. "You have no more lobsters, Dr. Evil Squeaky Dolphin!"

She adjusted her glasses, and put her hands on her hips.

"Show yourself!"

She jumped on the lobster pile.

She glared at the evil dolphin. "I never liked dolphins."

"I've never liked penguins." Blowhole moved to face her.

"Guess this'll be an easy fight." Penelope said.

"Yes, it will." Blowhole laughed evilly, and pressed a button. Toothpaste, yes, toothpaste fell from the ceiling.

"What-" Penelope started. She stared at the green gunk all over her. "LIME TOOTHPASTE! I'M ALLERGIC!" She tried to swim out, but the sticky goop caught her feathers. And got in her mouth.

She felt her tongue start to swell.

"AUG! I CAT TALK! MUH TOGE IB BIB! MUH TOGE IB BIB!" She said. She tried to spit it out, and it was caught in her mouth. She glared at Blowhole, as he went over to his buttons, laughing.

She cursed lime toothpaste in her head.

She flailed around, falling on her face, but out of the toothpaste. The effects usually lasted a few hours, so she would talk funny for a while.

Suddenly, a hole was blown in the wall.

The Penguins slid in.

"Blowhole!" Skipper said.

"Penguins!"

"Blowhole!"

"Penguins!"

"Blowhole!"

"Pen-"

"HUT UP!" Penelope shouted. "BY TONGE BESTTED UB, JUB GET MEH OUH UH ERE!"

"Uh…" Kowalski looked at her strangely. She smacked her own face and pointed at the toothpaste.

Kowalski examined it. "Oh, Lime toothpaste. Recalled because it appeared to swell lots off children's tongues because they were allergic to it."

"MUH TOGE IB BIG!" Penelope said.

"She's allergic…to toothpaste?" Skipper said in wonder.

Penelope's rage boiled over.

She started shouting nonsense. "GEB YOUB UTTS OBER ERE END BEAT HIM UB BEBORE I KILL YOU-" And other stuff.

"Uh…attack Blowhole!" Skipper said.

Penelope crossed her flippers and sat down.

POMPOMPOMPOMPOM

Later, back at HQ…

"Finally, I can talk again!" Penelope said. She sighed. "I hate lime."

"What was that all about?" Skipper said.

"Listen here, I just wanna go HOME! How was I supposed to know a LOBSTER was gonna push me in a pipe? HMMM?"

"Uh…er…"

"Exactly." Penelope said, turning her back to him.

"Ohh, You can talk again!" Private said.

"I think we established that." Penelope said. "I'm going to sleep. I've got a killer headache."


End file.
